and erase it all together, so that I don’t have to feel this way right now. A time in place in where I could reverse the actions done, change the things that happened so I don’t need to think about it.
I’ve been trying to run away from the problem since it happened today. Going to bed, listening to music - anything to keep my mind off the issue, but I know I have to face it. Where does one person go when a moment changes a friendship, when an action completely changes the relationships between two people. Where do you go?
I’ve been trying to answer that question this whole day. I’ve been trying to find a way to place my emotions every waking moment and I still don’t have an answer.
My mind is confused, my heart torn. I know I don’t feel that way about him. After what happened today, I know THAT IS FOR SURE. But everything else? I’m not sure anymore. I care about him and I don’t want this friendship to just tear apart. I want to protect it, but right now I just don’t know what to think.
I’m not the type of person to just forget something that happened. I can’t just pretend it didn’t happen, once something happens, it happened. We can’t run away from it and I guess that’s what makes this harder for me than you. You can just pretend that it never occurred, but I can’t.
I just keep thinking back to it. I just keep feeling the same emotions I felt at those moments. They were wonderful, but they were different. I knew from the start we didn’t have that…fire. That passion. That love.
But I know that every moment is given to us for a reason. Every memory is given to us with a definition. God planned for this to happen, but what does this plan of His mean? I don’t know, I just don’t know.
I. Just. Don’t. Know.
